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I am loving popping in here to share daily, weekly, some of the things and issues that come up with the people and the women, mainly women that I coach.
Hilary Plauche here. Thanks for tuning in. You know, I find that it's, it's a common thing and we're humans. So, oftentimes I think a lot of us feel that we struggle alone. And the problems that we have are, problems that nobody has.
Which just isn't the case. We're not alone, we're human and we're all kind of going through the same things. It's called the ebb and flow of life, right? The ups and downs and the super, super lows can also bring you the super, super highs in life.
But... that's only if you choose it.
That's only IF you surrender.
Women that I coach, it's a lot about fear old conditioning, subconscious conditioning that was placed on us from our childhood and even, our childhood abandonment wounds, things that we subconsciously carry and things that we subconsciously repeat ultimately, come out 100% in our relationships. It's oftentimes why, a lot of us can suffer the same kinds of relationships, whether they're friendships whether they're, boyfriend, girlfriend, whether it is your marriage, dating, those wounds can determine the kind of people you attracting.
Who are you attracting into your life?
Are they authentic relationships?
Healthy relationships? or extremely toxic?
Often times, and I don't know if a lot of you know this, but oftentimes we attract, people into our lives that will open those wounds. The universe actually puts those messages in front of you to see if you will choose it. Choose to heal, choose to step outside, have courage to look at that wound, and it's shining a light on that wound. It's the universe telling you, this is where you need to heal. The reason we allow toxic people in our lives is lack of boundaries. The people pleasing conditioning. There's so many reasons we could go down a rabbit hole on psychology, which we could go on all day about, but toxic people will, try and slash through your boundaries in every way they possibly can to take from you, to hurt you, because they are in fact unaware of their wounds, and they project them on others. Instead of people pleasing, they learned to be bullies to cope with their wound, subconsciuosly as a defense, to protect the ego.
If you're an empathetic soul you know, oftentimes it's hard. It's hard to, to set boundaries and it's hard to step up and just say no to people. Right?!!!
I know it was, I know it was for me. And I know that I'm not the only one out there because I know so many people that I coach, who hold themselves back in life because they have lack of setting boundaries.
There are people who exist in this world who have ZERO empathy, their frontal lobe never developed, they are incapable of honoring anyone's feelings but their own. YOU CAN'T RELEARN EMPATHY. (another topic for another day)
Life is about making lemonade, out of your lemons life.
Life is about making that lemonade!!!!
When you have opportunities, when you encounter these people, the stronger that you get the more that you can say NO to those relationships quicker!
You when you see the red flags!
When you see red flags in people DON'T ignore them.
I will say that every time that I ignored them, EVERYTIME I didn't listen to my gut, I got myself into, I allowed things, I compromised because, I loved that person, I accepted poor behavior and compromised myself.
Most people do not yet know I divorced this past year. I was married for four years, it was a train wreck. You can't make other people happy. No matter what you do, no matter how much you love them, ultimately, the reason they do things, unhealed people, toxic people, whatever you wanna call them, the reason that they do things is because they themselves are unhealed.
This is probably one of THE biggest key pieces of nuggets of knowledge that any anyone has ever given to me, which was this; when people are doing things to you, when people are projecting, their anger, their wounds, those ugly things that come, they are hurt people. There are people that are carrying wounds around and they're subconsciously projecting all this toxic stuff onto other people their ego will not let them see what needs to be healed within them. Ultimately we can only heal ourselves. We can't make other people happy. We have to make ourselves happy. We have to go inward, we have to be able to put that ego aside and go, "gosh, like how am I hurting the people that I love and how are my actions affecting other people?" This is where Self awareness comes in.
It is the golden rule. If your actions are hurtful, if your actions are causing other people to feel hurt in their soul you, stop doing it NOW & fix it, fix yourself find help if you can't. We are responsible to heal our wounds, we are responsible for our choices and for the karma of our choices. It's a choice, we're all raised to know the difference of good and bad.
There are a lot of abusive people. There are lot of toxic people. You know, and, and there's, It's all about choosing, being able to look at yourself, it's called self-awareness.
But here are a lot of people running around who have no self awareness and they're causing chaos and turmoil, bouncing from relationships, cheating, self serving and so many dark crazy things that go on because people aren't healed. Because people are afraid to truly look at themselves, and do the hard work it takes to truly go inward and heal.
Ultimately Success and happiness, having a well rounded life is being responsible for your shit. If you have hurt people in the past, it's not, it's not too late fix it.
If people could drop their egos and look in the mirror, look really in the mirror and look at the things that you're allowing in your life.
I had to look in the mirror and, and see what I allowed into my life.
You know, I knew the day I walked down the isle that my recent marriage wasn't going to work, I didn't listen to what my gut was telling me, that it wasn't going to work to RUN!
I ignored that voice. I know that 100%