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I am loving popping in here to share daily, weekly, some of the things and issues that come up with the people and the women, mainly women that I coach.
Hilary Plauche here. Thanks for tuning in. You know, I find that it's, it's a common thing and we're humans. So, oftentimes I think a lot of us feel that we struggle alone. And the problems that we have are, problems that nobody has.
Which just isn't the case. We're not alone, we're human and we're all kind of going through the same things. It's called the ebb and flow of life, right? The ups and downs and the super, super lows can also bring you the super, super highs in life.
But... that's only if you choose it.
That's only IF you surrender.
Women that I coach, it's a lot about fear old conditioning, subconscious conditioning that was placed on us from our childhood and even, our childhood abandonment wounds, things that we subconsciously carry and things that we subconsciously repeat ultimately, come out 100% in our relationships. It's oftentimes why, a lot of us can suffer the same kinds of relationships, whether they're friendships whether they're, boyfriend, girlfriend, whether it is your marriage, dating, those wounds can determine the kind of people you attracting.
Who are you attracting into your life?
Are they authentic relationships?
Healthy relationships? or extremely toxic?
Often times, and I don't know if a lot of you know this, but oftentimes we attract, people into our lives that will open those wounds. The universe actually puts those messages in front of you to see if you will choose it. Choose to heal, choose to step outside, have courage to look at that wound, and it's shining a light on that wound. It's the universe telling you, this is where you need to heal. The reason we allow toxic people in our lives is lack of boundaries. The people pleasing conditioning. There's so many reasons we could go down a rabbit hole on psychology, which we could go on all day about, but toxic people will, try and slash through your boundaries in every way they possibly can to take from you, to hurt you, because they are in fact unaware of their wounds, and they project them on others. Instead of people pleasing, they learned to be bullies to cope with their wound, subconsciuosly as a defense, to protect the ego.
If you're an empathetic soul you know, oftentimes it's hard. It's hard to, to set boundaries and it's hard to step up and just say no to people. Right?!!!
I know it was, I know it was for me. And I know that I'm not the only one out there because I know so many people that I coach, who hold themselves back in life because they have lack of setting boundaries.
There are people who exist in this world who have ZERO empathy, their frontal lobe never developed, they are incapable of honoring anyone's feelings but their own. YOU CAN'T RELEARN EMPATHY. (another topic for another day)
Life is about making lemonade, out of your lemons life.
Life is about making that lemonade!!!!
When you have opportunities, when you encounter these people, the stronger that you get the more that you can say NO to those relationships quicker!
You when you see the red flags!
When you see red flags in people DON'T ignore them.
I will say that every time that I ignored them, EVERYTIME I didn't listen to my gut, I got myself into, I allowed things, I compromised because, I loved that person, I accepted poor behavior and compromised myself.
Most people do not yet know I divorced this past year. I was married for four years, it was a train wreck. You can't make other people happy. No matter what you do, no matter how much you love them, ultimately, the reason they do things, unhealed people, toxic people, whatever you wanna call them, the reason that they do things is because they themselves are unhealed.
This is probably one of THE biggest key pieces of nuggets of knowledge that any anyone has ever given to me, which was this; when people are doing things to you, when people are projecting, their anger, their wounds, those ugly things that come, they are hurt people. There are people that are carrying wounds around and they're subconsciously projecting all this toxic stuff onto other people their ego will not let them see what needs to be healed within them. Ultimately we can only heal ourselves. We can't make other people happy. We have to make ourselves happy. We have to go inward, we have to be able to put that ego aside and go, "gosh, like how am I hurting the people that I love and how are my actions affecting other people?" This is where Self awareness comes in.
It is the golden rule. If your actions are hurtful, if your actions are causing other people to feel hurt in their soul you, stop doing it NOW & fix it, fix yourself find help if you can't. We are responsible to heal our wounds, we are responsible for our choices and for the karma of our choices. It's a choice, we're all raised to know the difference of good and bad.
There are a lot of abusive people. There are lot of toxic people. You know, and, and there's, It's all about choosing, being able to look at yourself, it's called self-awareness.
But here are a lot of people running around who have no self awareness and they're causing chaos and turmoil, bouncing from relationships, cheating, self serving and so many dark crazy things that go on because people aren't healed. Because people are afraid to truly look at themselves, and do the hard work it takes to truly go inward and heal.
Ultimately Success and happiness, having a well rounded life is being responsible for your shit. If you have hurt people in the past, it's not, it's not too late fix it.
If people could drop their egos and look in the mirror, look really in the mirror and look at the things that you're allowing in your life.
I had to look in the mirror and, and see what I allowed into my life.
You know, I knew the day I walked down the isle that my recent marriage wasn't going to work, I didn't listen to what my gut was telling me, that it wasn't going to work to RUN!
I ignored that voice. I know that 100%
We were on different levels of a vibration, you can't level people up. People have to choose to level up, you can't make yourself small for other people.
I spent a few years in, some dark places from hurt and pain, that I ultimately chose. We are responsible for our choices. I'm thankful that it brought me to this place, to recognize where I wasn't loving myself, allowing people to take from me, not just in my previous marriage but in friendships in people that I've helped. Back then you could say I saw the world through Rose colored glasses.
I saw the world through Rose colored glasses, I believed that I could help the world as a coach, maybe a little bit of naivety. A good soul, a big heart thinking everybody's capable if they choose it. If they do the work.
I was watching a biography on Elon Musk last night. What a fascinating driven Entrepreneur.
The reason I've been successful for 10 years, the same reason anyone that is successful, it is a mindset, it's a drive.
If you don't handle your shit, if you don't heal your wounds, the universe is going to constantly keep giving you challenges. You can call it karma, you can call it law of attraction, low vibration behaviors and energy attract who low vibration behaviors and energy.
When you're positive and you've leveled up and you're living consciously. You're living with, the divine knowledge that everything I do affects the universe. Everything I say affects the universe and the collective consciousness of who we are.
I can only manage me, right?
I can only manage my space. If I can make my space beautiful, hopefully I can send that message out there to you and maybe inspire you to take a look in the mirror, look at how you're showing up in the world.
How are you showing up to the people that you love?
If you've caused hurt and pain with people, make it right!
You can forgive toxic people. It doesn't mean that you have to allow them back into your life.
I advise that YOU don't ever go back.
You have to forgive them for yourself. Forgiveness is not for that person. And you know, I've had the closest people to me in my life me the most. I opened my heart to people that I shouldn't have. I opened my space. I opened my bubble. I didn't listen to red flags, but I can tell you as painful as some of the things that I went through in the past few years emotionally, it's growth, it forced me to heal. Real growth is actually learning from it and rising above it handling your shit and being mindful, clearing and cleaning ALWAYS.
I have found practicing Hawaiian Ho'opono so helpful & healing, I do it everyday.
It has truly brought peace into my life, that if there's something that is an issue in my life or something that is a trigger, something that somebody says or somebody does, it's my responsibility to not let it affect me, that there' conditioning in them causing them to do it, most are subconsciously unaware of it. Until they're self-aware, they can't see it.
I can only fix me. I can only choose to help me and fix me and, manage my garden. I say that all the time. But it's so true. Stop making yourself small. I did that, out of compromise to prevent conflict, that is part of the people pleasing wound I had to find & heal it.
When you're stifling your feelings, you're making yourself small for other people, dimming your voice, you're not living in well rounded balance. You're not making lemonade, you're not showing up in your life and living an authentic life, which does not equal a happy life.
Elon Musk, he's a free thinker, I keep referring to him, I just watched a documentary his autobiography, it's fascinating how rigid he is. Any successful entrepreneur that you know is somebody that's showing up consistently putting in the hard work, and Elon makes good on his word consistently, he shows up with 100% perfection. Look at everything that he's done. Look at Steve jobs, look at Richard Branson, so many more.
It isn't about money for a successful entrepreneur.
It's the drive to be better.
It's the drive to do something different.
I know for myself as an entrepreneur it was never necessarily about the money.
It was about having the freedom to choose to do what I want, choose to live how I want and have the freedom to do that.
To be able to inspire other people to know that there's more to life than a nine to five job that you hate.
There's more to life than being stuck in marriages or relationships with people that bring you pain.
It's OK to say NO!
Sometimes it's the hardest thing to let go of people that you love. But if they're causing chaos in your life, it's okay because you have one life, one frickin life and they're a billion people on the planet.
Let me tell you. I learned from it, grow from it, I will never take it back. Never go backwards.
The future is about looking forward. The future is about growing. The future is about expanding your self awareness, fixing your shadows, fixing those flaws, honoring and embracing the fact that you have flaws.
Embrace that you have pain that you need to heal and dig deep and find it because, until you're self-aware of those things that you subconsciously do. And if you just say, that's just me, that is how I am....
And there's no more of like, well it's your brother, it's your mother, it's your girlfriend or whoever it is, it's, it's them.... So it's okay.
No, it's not okay. It doesn't matter who it is. If someone is not treating you okay and somebody is causing chaos in your life, it's okay to close the door.
It's okay to forgive. Forgiveness is for yourself. It's okay to move on and it's OK to disappear. It's okay to cut them out of your life. Life is too short, take the lesson, grow from it, learn from it, and make those lemons into lemonade. 🍋🍋🍋
It's the ebb and flow, have the courage.
I can't say it enough, really embrace that courage. Fear is fear, courage comes from the heart. Do You think David didn't look at the Goliath and not have fear? He was totally fearful, but he had courage and he had heart and he believed in himself. I think that's the biggest thing is having confidence in yourself and surrendering to the fact that when you choose good, good happens.
When you consciously choose to be self aware, choose good and choose to live mindfully and really protect, protect your happiness, protect your joy, protect your space, protect who you let into your life.
PROTECT ALL OF IT!
Build a moat if you have to!
If you get bad vibes from someone, it's the law of energy. Know it's your inner compass telling you.
It's okay to say no.
It's okay to not answer a text.
It's okay to block. It's okay to remove.
It's okay to disengage.
It's even okay to get divorced. You guys, and I can tell you, it's probably the best thing I ever did. Life has been peaceful. Life has been grand and I haven't really shared this part of my personal life. BUT....
Being successful for 10 years, I showed up in my business like a boss and I've always showed up in my business like a boss.
I know if I'm struggling in my personal life, I'm not inspiring other people. If I'm not protecting my bubble to keep my space peaceful and positive and joyful and happy, and I allow people in there to pierce that bubble, I'm not being very mindful. So it's very important to me.
Going into 2020, this new decade, at 45 years old, I feel the most confident and the most awesome that I've ever felt, and I really love where I'm at in life.
I feel like age is like a level, you know, level 45.
You know, like I'm going to be 46 in April, not 50. Oh, don't rush it. Don't rush it. But it's okay. It is another level and I'm not scared. I'm not scared to age. I probably look and feel better than I did when I was 35 when I started this journey.
Embrace your masculine, embrace your feminine.... balance.
It's okay to say no. It's okay to say no to toxic things.
It's okay to take time for yourself to ground yourself.
I know for me as an empath, I need space from people.
'm energy sensitive so I can feel people.
I can feel when they're being dishonest, I can feel when something's not right, when something's off.
I didn't know enough to honor those feelings a few years ago, but through leaning in, working through things. I've learned that, YES, I'm very highly energy sensitive and I honor it. I honor it with nature.
I follow the moon cycles and I really live mindfully based on those cycles. If I feel like I need a day of self care I do. I turn off the computer, I turn off the phone and I don't schedule things on those days. This is how I keep myself well rounded and balanced.
Hopefully I gave you some nuggets today, and I hope that you will take your lemons and make lemonade. Don't be afraid to say no. Don't be afraid to change.
You live one life. if you're 45 or if you are getting up there in life, the more that you let your allow your life run out of control, the older you get, the harder it is to get it back under control.
But you can do it. You can choose it. We always have the power of choice.
Your life is your choice.
Nobody else's to blame.
Nobody else is at fault.
If you look around and you look at your life and you look at what you have and what you've got and where you've got into, it's a sum of all the choices that you've made.
Were they good choices, or were they bad choices?
What did you learn from those choices?
Did you grow from those choices? Or will you continue to make those bad choices?
Only when you're self-aware, can you look back and go, Hmmmmmm, all those things happened because I was there, right? Whenever there's a problem, whenever there's an issue, whenever there's something going on, you're there... I make the choice.
You are the only one who can change it and live mindfully and take those lemons and make lemonade. 🍋🍋🍋
I hope you've got some things from this message today.
I hope that you will leave a comment below, maybe even share this with someone who you think it might help.
I really, truly appreciate you watching and following me and supporting me and peace out. Have an amazing, amazing day. Good vibes. Bye.
10 years ago I decided to stop living life in my comfort zone. Now I LOVE doing things that scare me, because it means more growth for me in my life! 🔥🔥🔥
Desire to reach my goals, give my children a dream life, and help people do the same, has been my driving force.
What do you desire??
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